The Infinite Loops: Miscellaneous Compilations
by RPMasterweaver
Summary: Yggdrassil, the magitech world tree computer that runs the multiverse, has been damaged. In order to keep everything from falling apart while they fix things, the admins have put every reality into a time loop. These are the stories of those who inhabit the loops... well, those that don't already have their own stories, anyway.


**The Rules Of The Loops:**

**One person in a Loop, often the main character, is an Anchor. They are the person who first starts time looping.**

**There is always at least one Anchor present in a given Time Loop snippet, though it may not be the local one.**

**The standard pattern for a Loop is that the Anchor (and whoever else is Looping there) come to awareness in a loop at a particular point in the story. From ****there, events will play out as influenced by the Loopers present, acting with the benefit of their foreknowledge, until either a predetermined end point is reached or all the Loopers have copped it.**

**To be Awake is to be aware of the Time Loops (that is, to have gone back in time this time.)**

**The Anchor is the only character guaranteed to be Awake. Even after others have started Looping, it is mostly random as to whether they will be Awake this particular Loop.**

**Crossovers, fusions, and alternate pasts can also take place. It is perfectly possible, for example, to have the characters Awaken into a Loop which conforms to a fanfic universe rather than reality.**

**Loops do not have to be in chronological order, but it is strongly preferred that they not require a mutually contradictory order (where A must be before B and B must be before A.)**

**Just about every Looper is very, very stir crazy.**

* * *

><p><strong>1.1 <strong>(OracleMask)

Death via Innis was humiliating, painful, and some kind of hybrid word for both. It meant he'd lost to Sakaki of all people...and Innis had giant spears on each hand. Those _hurt_, dammit!

Planning on taking a walk to clear the ringing ache out of his head, Haseo hadn't gotten down more than the first stairs outside the Chaos Gate before he heard Silabus's voice.

"Um...Haseo?"

Haseo turned, saw Silabus, and froze. Wait, this wasn't how they met normally – and Canard's _current_ guildmaster looked totally confused.

* * *

><p>"Right, I kept this a secret from you the first time," Haseo admitted, "But maybe you'll be able to see it if you're looping. Still can't summon it without a job extension, but..."<p>

Skeith was getting easier to summon as the loops continued on. Haseo floated over Silabus's head, and called out "See anything?"

"Just that flash of light from the arena," Silabus called out, looking wildly every other direction but up, "And something's making my head feel funny..."

Haseo sighed, dismissed Skeith, and wondered if there was anything else they could try. Just hanging around menacingly in Avatar form waiting for Kuhn to come to Silabus's 'rescue' wouldn't work...Haseo's expression turned a little sinister when he spotted a few black dots hovering nearby, watching the display.

* * *

><p>"Oh come onnnn," came a childish whine from the AIDA in front of Skeith, "Do you have to take it away already? This is so COOL! At least let me fly around some more..."<p>

"You're enjoying yourself too much, that's all I need to know," Haseo replied, "Now are you going to hold still or not?"

In response, the AIDA-infected Silabus zapped him with the thing's laser.

'_I am so dead when Kuhn finds out_ _about this_,' Haseo groaned.

**1.2 **(Detective Ethan Redfield)

"Sovereign isn't just some Reaper ship Saren found. It's an actual Reaper." Shepard feigned surprise as he played out the script of his baseline loop. And like an age old play, Sovereign spoke in a condescending deadpan, answering Shepard's questions.

"We are legion. The time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the skies of your every world. You cannot escape your doom."

And it ended as it always did, with Shepard declaring the galaxy will stand and break the reaper tide. Sovereign scoffed at him and cut the connection. A few moments passed and Shepard turned to his third companion, "You get all that?"

Diane Allers, field reporter for Alliance News Network, nodded, "We went live as Sovereign started speaking. The entire galaxy just saw that exchange."

Shepard nodded and allowed himself a smug grin. _With that and Vigil's interview later on, the council won't be able to sweep the "reaper allegations" under the rug,_ he thought to himself.

**1.3 **(yannoshka)

Young Vaniyel Ashkevron, heir to his father's hold of Forst Reach, woke from a night of restful sleep, and then Van woke to the loop.

"Huh, Human body. Been a few loops since I got to experience it last," he mused idly, while waiting for the loop memories to kick in. Yfandes just snorted on the other side of their mental bond.

"Hah. A few dozen loops, and you act as if it were eternity. It's been a few hundred since I last was human, and you don't hear me complaining." The companion bantered.

The memories came soon after, and from what he could gather, it seemed to be basic run of his life, from the beginning of the day Jervis broke his arm. Yep, definitely skipping that part.

And then another mental channel unfolded within his mind. Good, that meant Lendel just awoke as well. Loops without his beloved tended to be a bit depressing since there was the oh so alluring facsimile around.

"Hey Van! Seems like we have a variant loop here," Stefen's mindvoice cheerfully greeted him. "Same lifestory, I just got born a few decades early," the bubbly bard continued.

"Stef! Hah, this gives me an idea!" Van cheered.

"Oh?"

"Yep! What say you lover that we introduce Valdemar to Rock'n'Roll? A fellow looper from another verse helped me adapt my amp so it can run on ambient magic."

"Dibs on being Fredy Mercury archetype!"

**1.4** (farsan)

Tales of the Loop: Simon the Digger

My first loops, frankly, were quite a mess. At that time I believed that I was somehow still trapped at the Anti Spirals' labyrinth of alternate dimensions, so I started struggling against them.

True to my Spiral heritage, with every turn of the time, my Spiral power grew stronger, and also learned how to teach my allies how to fully use the Spiral power... until, finally, the universe finally gave way.

As the Anti Spirals had predicted, the sheer amount of Spiral Power concentrated in a small area made the universe collapse unto itself, dragging and destroying everything. In my folly, I believed that I had finally won against the hostile Anti-Universe I was trapped in, triggering the very same thing they had feared.

But I was wrong. Deadly wrong.

Before, when I entered fused loops, I just blazed my way defeating any new foe I encountered in my path, trying to 'win' against the alternate dimension in order to fight the Anti Spirals as soon as possible... but after destroying my universe I found myself in a place I wasn't able to ignore.

In that place, the Spiral Power was a force of corruption, a force of obsession, that had started to envelope a small town. I wasn't able to save anyone from their own minds, and when I tried to summon my own Spiral Power to fight the monstrosities the villagers became... I was also infected by the spirals.

I won't tell you my experiences when I were under the influence of the Spiral infection. Suffice to say that, when that loop was over, and I found that my Spiral Energy was still corrupted after I Awoke back at my home village, I did something that I didn't consider doing in a million years.

I surrendered to the enemy. Completely.

As soon as I got Lagann, I made it teleport directly to Nia, who still was Lord Genome's obedient daughter, and I begged her, or rather begged the Anti Spiral's envoy, to dunk me in the Sea of Despair before it was too late.

Anti Spiral Nia was activated, and discovered the evil Spiral strain that I was barely holding in, so she quickly granted my request and teleported me to the Anti Spiral dimension.

I lived the rest of the loop at a small home Anti Spiral created for me at the middle of the Sea of Despair in company of Anti Nia, being drained of every iota of Spiral Power I had accumulated over the loops. Anti Spiral could have made it quite more uncomfortable for me, but I guess that my sacrifice made it respect me, as it reminded it of its own sacrifice.

When I finally ran out of Spiral Energy, and died, I Awoke again at my home village; drained but purified. And I resolved to learn more about the Spiral Power and the force that was keeping me trapped, and in turn I learned about the Loops and the other universes... but that is another story that shall be told another time.

**1.5 **(farsan)

Tales of the Loop: Nia the Messenger

It is... rare that someone finds its way here.

It doesn't matter. As long as you are here, I have an important message to relay. Please listen to it with all your heart.

You want first to know who I am, and what am I doing here?

Fair enough. We have time. If that will make you take the message seriously, then I have no choice but to agree.

Yes, I am already aware that you can detect lies in this realm. Don't worry, every part of this story is the complete truth.

My name is Nia Teppelin.

In my home loop, I was the daughter of Lord Genome. A dutiful daughter, and a simple doll. I knew nothing about the outside world, nothing about the humans what were suffering under the surface, nothing about the Anti Spirals that had beaten the humans into submission, and made their leader its own watchdog.

I knew nothing, until everything changed.

A Gunmen, smaller than any other Gunmen I had ever seen before, suddenly appeared before me. From it, a strange boy appeared, and started talking to me about things I couldn't understand, about an evil curse that was eating him from inside.

I knew nothing, but something inside me knew.

I was a simple doll. I knew nothing about hope, I knew nothing about fear, I knew nothing about love. I knew nothing about the fighting spirit which lies within all the bearers of the Double Helix. Not then. And because that, my transition into an Anti Spiral was very easy for me. I immediately accepted my new nature, and my new duty.

And I knew what had to be done.

Before my beastmen guardians could reach us, I teleported Simon, Lagann and myself to the Anti Spiral dimension, and drove them both into the Sea of Despair, just as he asked me.

I created a bubble of air, reduced the perceived gravity, and granted him a normal environment: A home, normal food, and my own presence to give him somebody to talk to. This was done for two reasons: To slow his emission of corrupted Spiral energy, ensuring that we would be able to handle this new strain without risks, and to learn through him the source of the Spiral infection.

At first, he alternated random bursts of insanity (Nothing we couldn't handle), accusations of us creating the Spiral infection to corrupt all the Spiral lifeforms (As if!) and long, silent periods of depression (Which was a sign of progress, but it didn't answer our questions).

When I finally hammered through his stubborn mind that we had nothing to do with the Spiral Curse, and that he was not within our Labyrinth (We checked twice) he finally started talking about his experiences.

And that was something that not even my new me knew anything about.

To learn about the Loops, even when Simon didn't actually know what was going on, was very conflicting to us. On one hand, we were glad that the universe had safeguards against the Spiral Nemesis, and that it actually survived such an event. On the other hand, that made our sacrifice, and the sacrifice of the rest of Spiral races, worthless.

Still, there were two things we could still do as Anti Spiral. First, we had to locate and neutralize the source of the Spiral corruption, which we had proof that could infect other universes. Also, we could recognize within the Loops a classic Spiral pattern, and that had to be investigated to learn if it could generate a Meta Spiral Nemesis that could destroy the multiverse.

But we couldn't do anything of those if we were 'outside the Loop', so to speak.

When Simon's Spiral Energy was almost drained, and he was about to die, Anti Spiral placed me within Simon's spirit with three missions.

The first, and most immediate, was to ensure that the Spiral infection was kept in an embrionary state, and to protect him in case he contacted a bearer of the Curse again.

The second, to learn more about the multiverse, and the Spiral Energy created by the Looping process. So far, I am glad to say that the multiverse, with the current guardians and safeguards, is very stable, and holds little risk of Spiral collapse. Even in the case that an individual gathers enough power to transcend, causing a local Collapse, the rest of the multiverse is cut off from the worst effects. Still, Anti Spiral will do its best to drain any powerful individual that visits our home loop, to reduce the risks of a local collapse.

The third is to relay the message I am about to tell, hoping it will reach its destination.

"To the bearer of the Curse of the Spiral, doomed to repeat its fate:

Hear these words, and heed them. Because even if we hold Despair as our flag, this is a message of Hope.

We are Aware of your plight. We have encountered the Curse, and we have managed to defeat it. But we are not able to fight the infection directly at the source.

So I have this message for you:

Find the world of the Spiral of Light, of the Spiral of Hope!

When you find it, use your Spirit, even if it is corrupted, to fight the bearers of Despair! Because only then we will be able to find you.

And when you are finally defeated (And we will, because our Messenger has prepared for this moment, and those preparations will let us know how to defeat you), Let us Heal you! Accept Us as part of you, as we will accept you as part of us! Become our Avatar in the Multiverse! Because only then you will have the tools to fight the Curse, and Win.

So Find us, Fight us, Embrace our Nature, and Accept our Duty! Let the Curse itself learn the true meaning of Despair!

For we are the Anti Spirals. Our Nature is to Endure, and our Duty is to Protect.

And even if we use Despair as a weapon, we are allowed to have Hope."

...

My duty is over for now, but I have one final request.

Please, don't tell Simon that I am inside of his mind.

I... I strongly suspect that I am the reason Nia is not Awake after all these loops. Because I am also Nia, and I am Awake. And there can't be two versions of Nia in the same universe.

If he learned that his love will never be Awake... it would crush his spirit again. Before, when I was first activated, I would have revered in his Despair... But I don't want that. Not anymore. Not after I had seen what he had to endure, what he had to protect, what he had to sacrifice.

So, please, don't tell him. Not for my sake, but for his.

Why are you smiling like that?

What do you know that I don't?

...

...

Thank you. I am glad that I was wrong about that. Still, I'd like to wait until she Awakes to reveal myself. Will you grant me this selfish wish?

Thank you again. You gave me hope... Luna.

**1.6 **(SpaceKGreen)

Ranma was getting weird vibes from this loop. Not bad vibes, but not good vibes either. Just plain _weird_.

He couldn't place the feeling, even after scouting out with some of his more advanced Looper abilities. This was very worrying.

Nabiki seemed to have some idea, but when he had asked her about it, she had given him a blank look for a moment, before erupting into a surprisingly evil cackle.

The most he could get out of her was something about a new student.

It was with some trepidation that he approached the school the next day. It only worsened that, when a surprise splash of cold water had its usual result in front of actual witnesses, none of them had batted an eye.

The usual crowd attacked him and Akane at the gates, and as usual, they were quickly rebuffed.

"Hey, you!" interrupted an unfamiliar voice.

As Ranma turned to the owner of the voice, a tall muscular man, wearing sunglasses, a blue shirt, and wielding a large blond afro, all his senses came together and told him one thing.

_Hoo boy, this is going to be one of those Loops..._

* * *

><p>Beauty sighed as she waited at the Nerima train station. She was facing a tough decision.<p>

On the one hand, she wanted to meet this Ranma person that the other Loopers had mentioned.

On the other hand, knowing what she knew, that was where HE would be, and she scrambled for every break she could get from him.

There was an explosion in the distance.

Well, it looked like an explosion. Most explosions didn't sound like a 30-story raven attempting to quack _Ode to Joy_.

The resulting rain of various blocks of tofu wearing one piece bikinis made her decision for her.

Unfortunately a particularly large piece had completely ruined the train tracks.

**1.7 **(Crisis)

LOOPER CANDIDATE DESIGNATED 'SOVEREIGN' APPLICABLE FOR LOOPING STATUS.

WARNING: LOOPER CANDIDATE 'SOVEREIGN' DISPLAYS INDICATIONS OF BEING A POTENTIAL DESTABILIZING INFLUENCE.

PRECOGNITIVE SIMULATIONS INDICATE DESTABILIZING INFLUENCE WILL NOT BE CRITICAL, BUT STILL MILD TO MODERATE.

ACTIVATE ANYWAY? Y/N

Ares looked at his screen and shrugged. _'Why the heck not?'_

Y:\ Y

**1.8** (LordCirce)

Skuld looked up from her desk-station, hair frazzled, where she was working to detangle what precisely had led to the... That Universe crashing out of existence. She had been looking through the data of the Post-Crash universes and had found something... disturbing.

"Janus!"

There was a loud crash, before Janus appeared in the doorway, both faces looking rather shaken. As the right face panted for breath, the left spoke up, "Er, ah, yes, Skuld?"

Skuld spun around her terminal screen, which was displaying the multiversal arm of realities dubbed the Disney Cluster. She jabbed at the middle of the cluster. "What in the name of Coffee is going on there?"

"Ah" Janus hesitated, before answering, tentatively, "Well, you know, A lot of universes were damaged in the Crash and..."

"Damaged?! It has planet-sized holes ripped through it! I don't see any sign that it has even started Looping again since the Crash. Why didn't you alert the rest of us that there was universe on the verge of collapse!?"

"It's not! I just... the universe is still locked in place, I just need to set up the right conditions to ..." Janus trailed off, eyeing the hammer that had appeared in Skuld's hand.

"Locked? As in, Key/Lock?" Both of Janus' faces opened their mouths to speak, but she cut them off, "I know that you would be foolish enough to leave up a system that you were told to take it down after the corruption it caused almost destroyed an entire multiversal cluster! And that was before this whole Looping mess started!"

"It's a Secondary Hub!"

Skuld sat back, her expression cold after Janus' panicked outburst. "Explain."

Janus took a deep breath, before he started. "As you know, the Key/Lock system was designed as a way to more dynamically store backups across universes. Ordinary backups, as has been shown in this, er, crisis, aren't able to dynamically correct for universal damage without outside influence. However, my Key/Lock system has allowed for the actions taken to stabilize the Kingdom Hearts reality to stabilize the other universes connected to it." He paused, before continuing. "On the downside, given it's, ah, position at the center of the cluster, it acted rather as a buffer for the other clusters during the, um, Crash, and so..."

"The backups were lost, weren't they?"

Janus flinched. "Ah, yes, to an extent. All of the backups are dormant at the moment, and I am working on a way to-" CRASH!

It was a testament to Vulcan's skill that the top of the desk he made as a replacement for Skuld's previous ones merely cracked when her hammer smashed into the middle of it. Janus jumped back, faces screwed up as he flinched. Tentatively, he opened both pairs of eyes to find Skuld standing behind her workstation, glaring at him.

"Fix the mess that you have made. We can't afford a second universal collapse so soon after this last one, even if it doesn't result in Level 2 event."

Janus nodded, his head bobbing from side to side, as he rushed out of the room.

**1.9 **(Dalxein)

"So, what happened last loop, Aang? You never woke up from your Avatar Trance." Sokka asked.

"Koh jumped me, surprised me because he was outside his cave, and then he ate my face." The Avatar replied.

"Buh... how... What the hell?"

"I have no idea. I think he was just saying 'Hi'."

**1.10 **(KrisOverstreet)

BEGIN EMAIL ARCHIVE

FROM: Yggdrasil (Prime) Administrative Bot rataoskr

TO: The Watchers couchpotatosapiens

CC: Uatu fingerscrossedoath

SUBJECT: About your universal temporal anomaly

You are receiving this message because you are a member of a cosmically aware race in your multiverse. It is therefore possible that you are aware that your universe, like countless others, has been put in a perpetual cycling state by the system administrators, even if you yourself retain no memory of previous iterations. This condition will continue until such time as certain hardware issues with Yggdrasil are remedied.

We appreciate how disturbing this knowledge may be. We further appreciate that you may wish to assist in rectifying the situation and thus allowing the time loops to cease. However, we assure you that trained professional pandimensional beings are hard at work to solve your problem. We do not need any help at this time, and any efforts on your part to provide help unasked may make matters worse instead of better.

Instead we encourage you to continue on your highly enlightened lives as normally as possible under the circumstances.

Thanks for your time,

Yggdrasil administrative staff

(This is an automatically generated message. Please do not reply to this address, as all responses are apt to be fed to Nidhogg and lost forever to all space and time.)

* * *

><p>TO: Yggdrasil (Prime) Administrator admin , sysop , postmaster<p>

FROM: Uatu fingerscrossedoath

CC: The Watchers couchpotatosapiens

SUBJECT: Re: About your universal temporal anomaly

BEHOLD! Know you that I am UATU the Watcher!

Since time immemorial I have watched the Earth on multiple planes of the local multiverse. Much have I witnessed for good and ill. And indeed, as your message states, I have noted multiple instances of disjunction between cause and effect that suggested interference in the normal progression of space and time!

Although my race is sworn forevermore to non-interference with the affairs of lesser races, we have discussed the situation in light of your message and have made two decisions. First, we have decided that since this matter affects all life in the multiverse, not merely younger and less enlightened races, our oath of noninterference does not apply. Second, we have decided that inaction in the face of such grave danger to the very fabric of reality is not merely criminal but outright folly! Therefore, by unanimous agreement of our race, we have decided to act to ensure the continued stability of this multiverse by using our vast powers cosmic to influence the course of events towards their destined ends.

We trust that you will cooperate in our noble effort in the interests of restoring stability across the many universes. Therefore we ask that you send us duplicates of the runtime logs for Earth-616 as its history ought to run, so that we may correct errors where they arise. We await your response.

Uatu has spoken!

* * *

><p>TO: Uatu fingerscrossedoath<p>

FROM: Thor mjolnir

SUBJECT: Re: About your universal temporal anomaly

First: how are you even sending this?

BEHOLD! Know you that I am UATU the Watcher!

I would never have guessed.

Therefore, by unanimous agreement of our race, we have decided to act to ensure the continued stability of this multiverse by using our vast powers cosmic to influence the course of events towards their destined ends.

Please, please don't. We already have a system in place for that. What you're planning on doing could disrupt that system and lead to a system crash. You really don't want to know what happens after that.

We trust that you will cooperate in our noble effort in the interests of restoring stability across the many universes. Therefore we ask that you send us duplicates of the runtime logs for Earth-616 as its history ought to run, so that we may correct errors where they arise. We await your response.

Are you kidding? Hel, no! Look, we're not giving our run logs to even our local echoes in your multiverse! (That would be the Thor you know personally, by the way, and his friends.)

Even if we did give you the logs, you probably couldn't read them. What's more, you of all people ought to know that your universe doesn't HAVE a single set predestined history. If we did hardcopy logs of universal runtime, Earth-616's logs would be sketched lightly on the page in PENCIL, and there'd be places on the paper where the erasers rubbed holes through.

Please. Just ignore the temporal anomalies and go about your business, all right? Chill. We got this.

Thor (prime)

* * *

><p>TO: Thor mjolnir<p>

FROM: Skuld icecreambandit

SUBJECT: Re: About your universal temporal anomaly

Chill. We got this.

Well, that's lie-of-the-month done. Hope you don't mind waiting three weeks before we engrave your name on the plaque.

Otherwise, agreed 100%, but please try not to antagonize them, OK?

Sis

* * *

><p>TO: Thor mjolnir<p>

FROM: Uatu fingerscrossedoath .

SUBJECT: Re: About your universal temporal anomaly

I bid you warning against arousing the slow but terrible wrath of my people. You may be of a race dimensionally transcendent from mine, but this does not make you immune from our influence. It would be wisdom and prudence to set aside your vainglorious pride and rather accept the aid offered in goodwill by my people.

Also, it is not well to underestimate the abilities of my people. We who have witnessed the birth and death of stars, the first reproduction of DNA and the last gasp of the last bacteria under swollen red giants, we who have ascended beyond instrumentality itself, can surely decipher a simple history of the universe. Moreover, I have taken speed-reading courses and, yea, did excel in my classes at Watcher University in late-night cramming for examinations! Truly my ability to discard the dross and focus on the vital points is more than adequate, and standing beside me are millions of my fellow Watchers!

I shall expect your next message to include the logs requested. Should they not be provided, my people are resolved to proceed on our plan of guiding history along its correct course. Any errors which result must be laid at your own feet.

Uatu has spoken!

* * *

><p>TO: Uatu fingerscrossedoath<p>

FROM: Thor mjolnir

SUBJECT: Re: About your universal temporal anomaly

Sorry this took so long- my supervisor caught me typing my first response and made me start over.

I am not going to make derogatory remarks about your puny powers as opposed to myself and my fellow administrators, nor about your race's bipolar tendencies where it comes to other races, nor about your lack of hair, eve

I am simply going to point out a few facts.

(1) A full log of a single iteration of your Loop would contain more data than is currently contained by your entire universe. In short, I can't send you the log because it won't fit in your mailbox, or in your computer, or on your planet, or in your galaxy- well, it just won't fit.

(2) Even if it could fit, it wouldn't be accurate. Your universe makes several major changes in its history with every Loop. Most of these histories (Fused Loops aside) are equally valid- none of them is any better than the others.

(3) Even if we had a single, uniform history to send you, we wouldn't do it, because that would interfere with the people already working on the problem. You and they would inevitably end up in conflict, and that would be big trouble for everyone all around. The main difference is, we Up Here would still be around afterwards to do paperwork, while you Down There... might NOT. Savvy?

To make my point I'm sending along digital media of several representations of your version of Earth, all based closely on your baseline, all with distinct differences. I ask that you and your people view them all and then decide for yourself if there's a single coherent timeline that can be made from the bunch.

Please let me know before you do anything.

Thor (prime)

P. S. Give my best wishes to my local counterpart.

Attachments: "Fantastic Four" (Hanna-Barbera, 1968)

"The Incredible Hulk" Season One (CBS, 1979)

"Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends" (Hanna-Barbera, 1981)

"X-Men" (Fox Kids, 1990)

"The Avengers" (Marvel Films, 2012)

* * *

><p>TO: Thor mjolnir<p>

FROM: Skuld icecreambandit

SUBJECT: Earth-616 (Was Re: About your universal temporal anomaly)

Haven't heard from those Watcher people this Loop. Did you get that settled?

Sis

* * *

><p>TO: Skuld icecreambandit<p>

FROM: Thor mjolnir

SUBJECT: Re: Earth-616 (Was Re: About your universal temporal anomaly)

Sort of. I've spent most of this Loop playing video rental store clerk. The Watchers insist on viewing and reviewing every bit of media we have on their universe before they make their decision. I haven't told them their Loop will reset, and they'll forget all of this, before they get to the end of their rental queue.

I'm going to automate this whole mess for the next iteration, and then maybe I can get some actual work done.

Thor

END EMAIL ARCHIVE

**1.11 **(SpaceKGreen)

Beauty sighed happily, despite her aching body. As far as she was concerned, this loop was pure bliss.

That nice Harvest Goddess (apparently not Yggdrasil level, but pretty high for this Loop) and the local mayor (Beauty was sure she knew her from somewhere, but she couldn't place it) had helped her move into a local farm, and all they asked in return was that she run it well.

Waking up before the sunrise, tilling the fields, watering the crops, tending the animals, meeting the townsfolk...

Compared to her usual situation, this was paradise.

Sure, HE had shown up, but in an incredible stroke of luck, it was several towns away, and without any big threats, he seemed content enough to stay where he was.

Beauty idly dropped a bit of Mystrile ore into her subspace pocket. Surely some other Looper would like it, or help her make something of it.

Turning her mind back to HIM, she started musing.

Recently she had actually noticed a few familiar bits of wackiness from him.

At first Beauty was excited, hoping that she could finally figure out a pattern to the craziness.

She gave up soon afterwards, though, when she found it was more like that math pi thing. Sure, some digits repeated, but there was no pattern, no matter how far you went.

Hmm. Had any looper actually tried their hand (or whatever) at calculating pi?

A line from the TV interrupted her tangential thought.

"...And the winner is Chef B, whose beans tasted much better than Chef A's. Tell us, Chef B, what is your secret to making such delicious beans?"

"It's simple. These beans have spiderwebs in them."

As the show host and the taste testers started choking, Beauty changed the channel.

_Was that natto?_ she wondered.

**1.12 **(Aubergine)

Admittedly it took several loops to pull it off.

There were certain challenges along the way that he just couldn't accomplish without the right gear.

Yet.

Despite that, his adventure had finally proven to be a challenge after who knows how many loops, and as he strode casually through the door at the top of Ganondorf's castle, he couldn't help but feel a surge of satisfaction. There'd be more time in the future to perfect the art, but for now he'd savor the look on his mortal enemy's face as he faced his final challenge.

"So... You've finally arrived..." The redheaded desert dweller rose from his organ, turning around with a sweep of his cloak. "The final battle begins... Draw your... Sword?"

Link said nothing, only continued to walk forward at a casual stroll. He was dressed in the same green tunic he'd always worn, but beyond that... No shield sat on his back, wooden or otherwise. No

sword either. No hook-shot on his belt, no pouch of bombs or even money. No bow or quiver of arrows. No special boots.

"Is this a joke? You seek to defeat me... Me! The master of the Triforce of Power!" Ganondorf roared, filling the air with enough power to break the windows of the tower. Link merely took another step forward and drew a single deku stick from its spot on his back. "With! A! STICK?!"

The hero of time said nothing, merely held out a hand and made a single taunting gesture.

**1.13 **(SpaceKGreen)

With a flash of light, Urd materialized.

"Sorry for the interruption, but the data says you've been in contact with the Skaia... protocol... huh?"

A pink haired girl, presumably the Anchor she was looking for, was lying face-down on the dirt in front of her. With a groan, the girl lifted up an arm, and the contents of her subspace pocket spilled forth in a jumbled pile, a few pieces of Grist bouncing free.

This task done, the arm flopped back down, and the girl groaned again.

"Wow, must have been rough on ya," said Urd, as she started looking through the pile of objects, scanning each one.

The girl didn't move as she moaned. "I couldn't stop him. I couldn't. He... he... HE jumped into the kernelsprite before I could stop him."

With a start, Urd recognized the Anchor as Beauty, and the realization of who HE must have been actually gave her pause.

"Wow. I... Wow," was all she could say.

The last object scanned, Urd straightened up. "Well, I'm finished. Um... do you-"

With another lazy arm wave, Beauty dropped the remaining items back into her pocket. "Nah, go on. I'll be okay. I'm just gonna lay here, in this honest-to-goodness actual dirt, for a while and enjoy something that actually makes sense."

**1.14 **(Inkweaver22)

Banjo may not have been the smartest being on the Isle o' Hags, especially considering his own Breegull companion Kazooie, the pair of shamans, and move-set minded moles that helped them on their adventures. But what his friends didn't realize was that his high level of common sense combined with his acute observational skills allowed him to come up with some effectively simple solutions to highly complex problems. His current predicament, however, was beyond even his level-headed troubleshooting.

Somehow, Banjo was reliving his adventures. He would wake up on the morning that Gruntilda the witch first kidnapped his younger sister Tootie and would go through the entire quest for Jiggies, Jinjos, and Musical Notes up to the point where he and Kazooie destroyed the Hag 1. Nothing would happen for several weeks after that before he woke up once again on that first morning.

The first time this had happened, the bear had been thoroughly confused. He tried mentioning it to Kazooie, but she brushed it off as him having a strange dream. Banjo decided to just keep his head down and see what happened. He went through the adventures at a significantly faster pace than before thanks to his new knowledge. He hoped that the faster he did them, it would fix whatever was causing this strange phenomenon.

Unfortunately for the bear, no matter how fast he speedily ran through his quests, he would wake up back at the beginning. He was on his seventh loop of events when he realized something. Besides his memories, nothing carried over after the reset. Banjo was able to figure this out as the last battle with the Hag 1 had left him without one of his arms. It was the most gruesome wound he had ever received as was shocked and relieved when he woke with both of them still intact.

So, as he entered Mumbo's Mountain for the seventh time, he pondered on what he should do. It was obvious now that whatever was happening was far out of Banjo's control, so what he did with his now infinite amount of time was the question. The first answer was obvious: find methods to make his and Kazooie's adventures easier. It was common sense really. The faster he defeated Grunty both times, the more time he would have for his second goal: learn as much as possible. Banjo knew he wasn't the most intelligent when it came to book smarts, and he planned on fixing that. Of course, he would have some fun along the way whenever he could. Now armed with a plan, Banjo quickly cleaned out the miniature mountain world in under ten minutes and headed off to open Treasure Trove Cove. He grinned as he thought of something that might save him the time he wanted for learning and began to cultivate it slowly as he made his way through Gruntilda's Lair...

* * *

><p>Two years later, Banjo and Kazooie, along with Mumbo Jumbo the skull-faced shaman and Bottles the mole were sitting at a table playing poker when his entire house began to shake violently. Banjo simply smiled and convinced Mumbo not to go check what happened. The shaman grudgingly returned to his seat and the card game continued.<p>

* * *

><p>Outside, near the boulder that imprisoned Grunty, not a living thing could be seen (Klungo had been convinced early on go off and work on making video games, so he was not there trying to revive his mistress). Out of the cliff wall near the waterfall drilled the nightmarish machine of the Hag 1. It's hatch opened to reveal Gruntilda's hideous sisters, Mingella and Blobbelda. They made their way over to the boulder, but when they got within ten feet of it, explosions went off, killing the hags instantly.<p>

* * *

><p>Banjo smiled once more as they heard the blasts, and convinced his friends to ignore it once again. After all, only he knew where he had placed the Proximity Eggs that he discovered in Clinker's Cavern (he had also explored the Isle o' Hags early this time) and didn't want them to succumb to them as the witches had. With another smile, he showed them his hand, a Royal Flush, and collected his winnings. Oh yes, he could get used to this.<p>

**1.15 **(OracleMask)

" - so he says, '_this sword is so sharp you can trim a statue's hair with it_', and I told him that sounds great, but I won't believe him until I get a chance to test it."

Sitting around a corner table in Eden Hall, several heads nodded. The speaker, a black haired lad who looked a little too young to be in a bar in the first place, waved his arms around as he told his story.

"Ne, Kirito, surprised he didn't get pissed off for not believing him," a white haired boy with red facial tattoos pointed out.

"No, this is the best part - he handed the sword over and turned into a statue so I could test it! I was so surprised I didn't think to cut off his head until _after_ I gave him the new look," Kirito explained.

The other three burst out laughing. It was a struggle to keep their voices down - anyone who got too loud in Eden Hall was removed from the bar by the surprisingly multi-talented bartender who ran it - but they managed it. None of them wanted to be kicked out of their favorite bar.

"Weird loop," the lone girl at the table said, "So what has everyone else been doing? You _have_ been keeping up the scythe training, right Haseo?"

She gave the white-haired boy a suspicious glare. He glared right back.

"Idiot Maka, what else would I be doing?" Haseo retorted, "Aside from collecting swords for Link's stupid bet -"

"You only think it was a stupid bet because you lost," Link replied cheerfully, "What did you say again? '_No way in hell can anybody keep totally silent for a hundred loops!_' You were tempting fate and you know it."

"You're both stupid," Maka muttered.

**1.16 **(Starfata)

The Princess of Nourasia braced herself with her fencing master as the world jolted. G'dar shrieked in distress, and she moved to calm him once she was certain that Canaan was alright. Once the great Beetle had settled, Kagome took the time to look over her loop memories more carefully.

She was from the Kingdom of Nourasia, a large planet halfway between the Crog Empire and the Earth Coalition, which was the Crog's next target. She knew, as most of the royal family and Knights did, magic. Her parents King Lao and Queen Nori lived in the Holy City of Dol.

She was here because ten years before, The Avatar had appeared to the Council of Nourasia and invited their planet to the Great Race of Oban, and a chance to win the Ultimate Prize. Any wish, any dream.

Their Kingdom was surrounded by the Crogs. If the Nourasian pilot won, they could free themselves of their so-called allies forever.

She had been sent because she was the best racer on the planet. G'Dar, her faithful beetle, was the most agile mount on the planet, and would hopefully be able to dodge her competitor's weapons. Her own bow and arrows rested comfortably on her back, a gentle reminder of the ways she could fight back.

Canaan had been her fencing master and then her mentor during her customary exile. The retired General was the reason she was one of the best Archer's on her planet, as well as an able swordswoman. He loved her both as his protégé and the closest thing to a child he had.

Checking her sword at her hip, she ran through what her loop-self knew of Earth.

Target of the Crogs, a young race to interstellar travel, shorter lifespan than the Nourasians- two and a half of their years made a single Nourasian year, which put the Avatar's arrival at twenty five years or so in the past. So, given that she was fifteen, in human years that would be…

Huh. Just over forty humans years old and she was still too young to drink.

She returned her attention to the doors as they opened. The welcoming party had arrived.

**1.17 **(Dalxein)

"Hello everyone... My name is Ganon."

"Hello, Ganon," the room replied warmly.

"But I prefer Ganondorf. It's a lot more regal and I prefer that version of myself."

"Hello, Ganondorf." This time there were far fewer voices.

"And... I'm not a very nice person."

"Aww, that's okay." Chrysalis said, patting him on the shoulder. "Most of us here aren't very nice... except her." She nodded over towards Derpy Hooves, who really had no reason to be there, but she wasn't going to question it. "What matters is learning to not be mean. Nice is for ponies."

"Pon...eys."

"Yes, dearie." She turned to Sombra. "How is your speech therapy coming?"

"Sombra... re-learning pro-por sentence structures now." the dark unicorn managed.

"Good to hear. A millennium without anyone to talk to- awful, just awful. We're all glad to hear you're making progress, aren't we everyone?"

"Good work, Sombra," the room encouraged.

**1.18 **(Inkweaver22)

Banjo stood back and watched as Mumbo Jumbo, the shaman that transformed him into useful creatures throughout his journey, battled the evil witch Gruntilda. It had taken a hundred magical Mumbo Tokens to get his power back onto the same level as the hag (which, as it turned out, was his former student and the one that had cursed him with the skull-face), but it had been worth it as he and Kazooie watched the powerful spells being shot back and forth.

"Er... Shouldn't we be helping?" The Red Crested Breegull asked half-heartedly.

"Do _you_ want to get into the middle of that?" Banjo gestured towards the magical carnage around the combatants. "Besides, I think he's holding his own quite nicely."

Even as he spoke, Mumbo cast a spell that cleaned the witch's hair and robes of it's horrid stains of motor oil grease and other, more foul substances. Screeching in outrage that her carefully cultivated filth had been stripped away, Grunty began firing spells and a faster rate. However, in her rage, her concentration slipped, which was just what Mumbo had hoped. Nimbly dodging the curses and hexes, the skull-faced shaman got into close range of the witch. With a final "Oomenacka!", he transformed her into a misshapen squash and launched it off the edge of the tower.

"Well that was anti-climactic." Kazooie said as they watched the witch-turned-vegetable splatter against the ground far below. Mumbo panted from magic exhaustion before promptly passing out. Banjo slung him over his shoulder and headed for the trapdoor.

"Let's get Mumbo back to his skull and then go raid Grunty's living quarters."

"What for?"

"For books of course!" Banjo said enthusiastically. "Who knows what kind of knowledge she has hidden in there!" Kazooie chose to stay silent, wondering where the lazy bear she once knew had gone.

**1.19 **(LordCirce)

Zelda awoke to scorching heat. That, in and of itself, wasn't that unusual. Most of the towers that she woke up imprisoned in seemed to have absolutely no ventilation. However, the light shining in her face and the wind howling told her she was in the desert. She sat up from the bed she was laying on and glanced around. From her skin tone and, she pulled a strand of her hair in front of her face, her hair color, she was almost certainly a Gerudo. Those were always interesting loops. Idly, Zelda wondered if she would be the long lost Hyrulian Princess, or if it would turn out that Nabooru switched places with her. As her Loop memories slowly filtered in, she paused. She had arrived well before she usually did, and...

"Mom, mom, look what I found!"

A red-headed Gerudo child burst into the tent, a thin, broken sword clutched in his hands. He waved it around excitedly, and her Loop memories led her to speak without thinking.

"Be careful, my little Ganondorf. We don't want our strong protector to lose an eye, now do we?"

Oh boy.

* * *

><p>Zelda, or rather, Zeviru, as she was named in this Loop, sat up in bed weakly. Over her time in the Loops, she had gained enough magic that she could stave of most sicknesses almost unconsciously. Unfortunately, that meant that when she got sick, she got hit hard.<p>

She looked up as the flap of her tent opened, and Ganondorf stepped in. It was still so odd to see the Evil King standing there and not feeling at least a little fear, though she did feel a bit of a mother's apprehension at the lopsided smirk Ganondorf was wearing.

"I'm off, Mother."

Zelda smiled. "Oh, and where is my little Gan-Gan going now?"

His smile twitched, and then fell. "Please don't call me that."

Zelda smiled wider. "Oh, but you will always be my little Gan-G..."

Ganondorf coughed, loudly, before straightening. He struck his "Guardian of the Desert" pose, staring out of the tent flap, and Zelda smiled as she looked at the man her son had become. "_And isn't that an odd thought, Ganondorf as my son._"

"Soon. Soon, you will no longer have to live in this ragged tent, underneath the heat of that unbearable sun. Soon, the Gerudo people will take their rightful place. I, Ganondorf, shall see to it. I shall bring our people to greatness!" He turned to look at her and grinned. "Mother, tomorrow I ride...for Hyrule!"

Zelda froze, then sighed. "I suppose I knew this day was coming." She opened her eyes, and smiled, wanly at him. "Son, I have some things to tell you before you go."

* * *

><p>Ganondorf sat, transfixed, as his mother finished her tale. She was staring down at her thin blanket, obviously lost in thought. Ganondorf sat back, thinking on what he had just learned, of Loops and Anchors and his... other self. Then, he began to laugh.<p>

His mother looked up at his laughter, her face drawn in confusion. He stood, raising his arms up in his joy. "My victory is assured. By right of birth, I am both King of the Gerudo, and the rightful heir to the throne of Hyrule. I shall unite both under my reign, and bring all people together in my most glorious nation. Fear not, mother, for I shall reclaim thy throne!" Still laughing, he spun and exited the tent.

Zelda, sat there, before a coughing fit broke her out of her reverie. "Well, that wasn't what I wanted him to get out of that. Poor Link." She paused, then shrugged. "Payback for trying to get my attention by throwing a Cucco through my window." Zelda shuddered.

**1.20 **(Mivichi)

The trees looked like trees. That was Link's first thought upon Awakening.

While far from profound, it had its importance. A few loops ago, the trees had, in fact, been man-hating, tree-shaped monsters intent on conquering the world. It was always good to know whether the shrubbery was plotting to eat you alive, Link mused as he reviewed his in-loop memories.

His memories told him that he was a teenager, trained as a swordsman by his father, who had raised Link in seclusion deep in the forest. His father had recently died during a fight with a giant, Moblin-like creature, and in-loop Link had decided to leave the forest to investigate the source of the trouble. Currently, he traveled a path towards Hyrule. Thanks to a traveling mask salesman, he knew it to be ruled by Princess Zelda and her consort, Vaati.

Link nearly tripped over own feet.

The loops was definitely a new variant. Glancing at the Triforce emblem on the back of his left hand, he decided to ping it for the statuses of the Power and Wisdom thirds. The Triforce of Wisdom felt strange and wrong, and Zelda showed no sign of being Awake. In contrast, Ganondorf and the Triforce of Power were corruption-free.

As the trees became scattered enough to let full sunlight leak through the canopy, Link reached a crossroad. According to the faded lettering on the wooden signpost, Clocktown lay to the northeast, Hyrule castle was directly east, and Lonani Village could be found to the southeast.

After a moment's hesitation, Link turned his boots to the barely-trodden path to the southeast, heading for Lonani Village - and Ganondorf.

Not wanting to travel for days, but not wanting to risk accidentally stealing Epona again, Link withdrew a bunny hood and a roc's cape from his subspace pocket before extracting a mountain bike. Exploring new places could be a fantastic rush.

* * *

><p>Link pushed open the doors of Lon-Lon Bar, allowing them to swing shut behind him. He casually took a seat on a padded stool at the counter. His eyes raked over the drinks lined up behind the bartender, Ingo.<p>

Ingo peered at link suspiciously. "Hmm, I've never seen you around before. What can I get you?"

"Chateau Romani," Link replied.

Ingo started, his mustache pressed into a straight line and his eyebrows raised high. "What? That's 200 Rupees a bottle! Can a kid like you even afford it?"

Link pretended to dig through his belt purse while actually accessing his subspace pocket. He placed four purple Rupees on the bar and slid them towards Ingo. "I think I can," said Link calmly.

Ingo looked between the money and Link, even more suspicious, but swept the Rupees into the moneybox all the same before reluctantly handing over a Chateau Romani. Link uncorked it and sipped it slowly, enjoying the rich flavor. He simultaneously tamped down on his magic; with the effects of a good bottle of Chateau Romani and the amount of magic he had thanks to the loops, gulping down the milk could cause him to literally glow.

LInk forced himself to remain relaxed as two very familiar people entered the bar and sat down a few seats from him. Both were heavily cloaked in illusion magic and likely did not realize that he could easily see through it, a side effect of the loop where he had learned to use the magic of his masks without actually wearing them. The Mask of Truth was useful like that.

The two others ordered high-grade Lon-Lon Milk. The one in the purple cloaked quaffed his drink and cursed. "I can't believe we are sitting at the same bar as the hero," the young man complained to his companion. "First I wake up with other memories, then I realize that Zelda is crazier than a sack of Cuccos, and then I find out you remember the same crap I do? All we need is to find out the hero was also dropped on his head too much as a kid and is perfectly willing to skewer us instead of Her Royal Asylum Reject."

"Peace, Vaati," said the dark-skinned, red-haired man in his much deeper voice. "We, too, would have been like Zelda had it not been for Serenity's presence in our last life."

Link, only pretending to drink now, thanked the Goddesses that he had not been swallowing anything he could choke on. In that loop where he and Zelda had replaced Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask, had Usagi replaced him? If anything could purify an evil god's curse of hatred, the Silver Crystal could.

And now Vaati and Ganondorf were Awake? Link did not want to deal with this.

Vaati swished what was left of his milk around in his glass, grimacing. "Ugh. I just want to know what is going on."

"Help me protect my people from the princess, and I will help you in turn," Ganondorf promised. "We will gather troops, ask for the favor of the Great Fairies, and raze the castle to the ground, killing all who stand against us."

"Think we can get the hero on our side? Maybe kidnap someone, threaten their life unless he helps us?" Vaati questioned approvingly.

Link sighed. Yeah, they definitely were still Ganondorf and Vaati. He downed the rest of the milk, stood up, and walked over to them even as he started to glow. The two ex-villains flinched.

"You know," said Link as he used his pocket to equip his best weapons and instantaneously switch into the much more durable outfit fairies had given him during a fused Kingdom Hearts loop, "I think the three of us need to talk."

Ganondorf and Vaati stared at Link in growing horror as he laid a hand on their shoulders and whistled a warp song.

* * *

><p><strong>Compiler's Notes:<strong>

**1.1 **Every world. Even those I haven't heard of.

**1.2** It's nice to have a little forewarning.

**1.3 **"Just a little something... your kids are going to love it."

**1.4 **When raw awesome is infected by raw terror, horrible things happen.

**1.5 **Luckily enough, friends will help fight the horror.

**1.6 **There's crazy, then there's insane.

**1.7 **Then there's stupid.

**1.8 **You know, in retrospect, this explains a lot...

**1.9** Some people are aware of the loops even when they're not looping!

**1.10 **Dealing with well-meaning morons is a part of every job, even when you're at the top.

**1.11 **The simple life.

**1.12 **After the butterfly net... yeah, pretty much.

**1.13 **Skaia's crazydangerous enough without him...

**1.14 **Planning ahead can be fun!

**1.15 **You all meet in an inn... after your adventure has concluded.

**1.16 **When you're too young for the drink you need...

**1.17 **Equestria has declared itself a sanctuary to the Loopers.

**1.18 **What used to be a challenge is now a chore.

**1.19 **Mother and son.

**1.20 **Giving the talk is always awkward, doubly so when you give it to your enemies.


End file.
